<![CDATA[ABSTRAK Difficulty understanding and communicating emotions may shape how individuals manage closeness in interpersonal relationships. During early adulthood, this issue becomes particularly relevant as the need for meaningful relationships coexists with the need to maintain autonomy and personal boundaries. This study explored how avoidant attachment is experienced and interpreted by early-adult women with high tendencies toward alexithymia using a descriptive phenomenological approach. Two women aged 20 and 24 years were purposively selected following screening with the Toronto Alexithymia Scale-20 (TAS-20), with scores of 77 and 67, respectively. The instrument was used for screening purposes rather than clinical diagnosis, while two close friends were involved as supporting informants. Participants’ experiences were explored through in-depth semi-structured interviews, observation, and documentation conducted in Medan from May to August 2026. The data were examined using Reflexive Thematic Analysis through repeated reading, coding, theme development, and theme review, with source triangulation used to strengthen the interpretation. Four themes emerged: regulating boundaries and access to closeness, relying on oneself, withdrawing when relationships become uncomfortable, and seeking closeness while maintaining distance. These experiences suggest that closeness is negotiated through privacy, autonomy, and a sense of safety, indicating that avoidant attachment does not necessarily represent rejection of interpersonal relationships. ABSTRAK Kesulitan memahami dan menyampaikan emosi dapat membentuk cara seseorang mengelola kedekatan dalam hubungan interpersonal. Pada masa dewasa awal, kondisi tersebut menjadi menarik untuk ditelaah karena kebutuhan akan hubungan yang bermakna berjalan berdampingan dengan kebutuhan mempertahankan otonomi dan batas personal. Penelitian ini menelusuri bagaimana avoidant attachment dialami dan dimaknai oleh perempuan dewasa awal dengan kecenderungan alexithymia tinggi melalui pendekatan fenomenologi deskriptif. Dua perempuan berusia 20 dan 24 tahun dipilih secara purposive setelah melalui screening menggunakan Toronto Alexithymia Scale-20 (TAS-20), dengan skor 77 dan 67. Instrumen tersebut digunakan untuk screening, bukan diagnosis klinis, sementara dua teman dekat dilibatkan sebagai informan pendukung. Pengalaman partisipan digali melalui wawancara mendalam semi-terstruktur, observasi, dan dokumentasi pada Mei–Agustus 2026 di Kota Medan. Data ditelaah menggunakan Reflexive Thematic Analysis melalui pembacaan berulang, pengodean, pengembangan serta peninjauan tema, dengan triangulasi sumber untuk memperkuat interpretasi. Empat tema ditemukan: pengaturan batas dan akses terhadap kedekatan, pengandalan diri, penarikan diri ketika relasi terasa tidak nyaman, serta keinginan untuk dekat tanpa kehilangan jarak. Pengalaman tersebut memperlihatkan bahwa kedekatan dinegosiasikan melalui privasi, otonomi, dan rasa aman, sehingga avoidant attachment tidak semata-mata berarti penolakan terhadap hubungan.]]>
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