Toward a Moderate Islamic Parenting Model: Qur'anic Care, Positive Discipline from the Perspective of Islamic Family Law in Pesantren of South Sulawesi

Rosmini, Rosmini
Nursalam, Nursalam
Darmadali, Waode Surya
Zainuddin, Kurniati

El-Usrah: Jurnal Hukum Keluarga
Vol. 9 No. 2 (2026): EL-Usrah: Jurnal Hukum Keluarga

Pesantren as Islamic educational institutions, not only transmit religious knowledge but also shape students' character, discipline, and moral orientation. However, parenting practices in many Islamic boarding schools continue to be dominated by hierarchical relationships and punishment-based disciplinary approaches that are often inconsistent with students' psychological development, the principles of religious moderation, and the values embodied in Islamic Family Law. Within the framework of Islamic Family Law, parenting (hadanah) is founded upon the principles of justice, compassion (rahmah), child welfare (maṣlaḥah), and the protection of children's rights, which require educational practices that are nurturing rather than punitive. This article aims to develop a Moderate Islamic Parenting model by integrating Qur'anic parenting principles, positive discipline, and the normative foundations of Islamic Family Law within Islamic boarding schools in South Sulawesi. The study employs a mixed-methods design, combining surveys, in-depth interviews, and focus group discussions. The findings reveal that disciplinary practices in pesantren remain predominantly behavior-control oriented and deterrence-based, while students' developmental needs including dialogical communication, non-violent correction, fairness, and participation in the educational process have not been adequately fulfilled. Drawing upon empirical findings, Qur'anic parenting values, and the legal principles of Islamic Family Law, this article proposes a Moderate Islamic Parenting model based on four interrelated dimensions: uswah (exemplary conduct), rahmah (compassion), ḥikmah-shūrā (wisdom and deliberation), and wasaṭiyyah (moderation). The proposed model advocates a transformation of pesantren parenting from a disciplinary-repressive approach toward a more humanistic, participatory, rights-based, and transformative educational framework that is consistent with both the objectives of Islamic education and the principles of Islamic Family Law.